Hey There!
Have you ever felt drained after talking to one of your friends? Does it feel like all the conversations are about is them? I’ve felt that way, too. Sometimes, friends can get a little too comfortable (us included), that they don’t realize if their conversations only point towards them and what they’re up to. It can be exhausting to be the ear for others to talk into about whatever is going on in their life, especially if they don’t do the same for you. It’s easy to just paste on a smile and nod your head occasionally when these things happen, but sometimes it’s better to pull back a bit and let them do some of the work, too. My sister is constantly reminding me that
Friendships are a two way road. It takes two people to do the work, not just you.
When situations like these come up, it’s ok to reply to what the other person is talking about, and state an experience you’ve gone through or something you’ve done that is relatable to the conversation. It can remind them that you would like to share your life with them, too. If they ignore what you said, try again – everyone deserves a second chance. If they still don’t pay attention, then pull back a bit. Maybe don’t comment as much, or (depending on the circumstances) politely leave the conversation all together. If you’re in a group of people, let them finish what they’re saying, comment, then politely tell them there are a few other people you would like to touch base with. If you are chatting online or texting, tell them you have things that need to be done. It’s important to take care of yourself, and taking a step back to clear your head can do wonders. Friends are supposed to listen to one another and have each other’s backs.
It can be hurtful when friends don’t seem interested in what you are talking about, but sometimes that is a sign that God is telling you to move on. It can be painful, especially if they are a close friend, but which is more important (and healthy) to you: maintaining a friendship that you’re not getting what you want out of it, or finding a new friend who is great at talking AND listening? True friends will care about what you say, and want to hear you say it.
Also, don’t cut off the friendship too soon. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and not to be too harsh on someone, because everyone appreciates receiving grace – even if they don’t realize their mistake yet. I think that is one of the bravest and kindest things we can do: extending grace when the other person didn’t realize they needed it. After all, we most likely don’t know everything that is going on in their life. They could be struggling with something under the surface and need some support, or maybe they just had a bad day!
I hope this helps inspire you to evaluate your friendships and make healthy decisions. 🙂
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17
Chick & Co.
Living the Sweet Life
Chick & Co. 